Love is hard work, my eight year old daughter says. She says this when I ask her if we can practice more kindness at home-- less losing our tempers, less talkback and arguing. But this is hard; she has an annoying little sister and a fiery temperament. And being patient with one another takes a lot of work.
But today is the day when we celebrate love-- with roses and chocolates and diamond necklaces. But that is not love, that is romance. And even romance is so much more about an approach to life, than what our significant other buys us at the store. Romance is opening to wonder and celebrating our curiosity for the other. And love, long-lasting committed love, is the discipline of working to see-- to see divinity in the people who drive us crazy, the ones who get under our skin.
On this day, I celebrate love. I write poetry, cook stew, and bake brownies with my daughters. We send e-cards with kittens and puppies to their grandma in the hospital. We argue some, getting on each other's nerves, too. But at the end of the day, we try again-- to move toward the work of love, this difficult but most worthy discipline of the heart.
But today is the day when we celebrate love-- with roses and chocolates and diamond necklaces. But that is not love, that is romance. And even romance is so much more about an approach to life, than what our significant other buys us at the store. Romance is opening to wonder and celebrating our curiosity for the other. And love, long-lasting committed love, is the discipline of working to see-- to see divinity in the people who drive us crazy, the ones who get under our skin.
On this day, I celebrate love. I write poetry, cook stew, and bake brownies with my daughters. We send e-cards with kittens and puppies to their grandma in the hospital. We argue some, getting on each other's nerves, too. But at the end of the day, we try again-- to move toward the work of love, this difficult but most worthy discipline of the heart.
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