Turnings

Pray without ceasing....In the distance, a train whistle blows.  I returned to my train commute today after two weeks of life disorder.  Returning, I move at another pace.  Life has not slowed down; I have. I read the story of the rabbi who when he is extra busy prays for 2 hours, instead of his usual 1...and I get it.  I walk through woods, over and under fallen trees- hurricane remains.  I feel the cool air, the impending darkness in evening, and I am once again alive.  Driving to work may be easier and more convenient, but I have not been able to experience that same sense of time slowing down and connecting to presence in a daily drive. For this, I must return to train and woods.

The blessings of last evening's spiritual deepening group are with me today.  Singing together in the sanctuary, praying together out loud, creating a shared altar, sharing our experiences and thoughts on worship-- I experienced a kind of unity and oneness, and am grateful for this flow. This is exactly where I needed to be. 

So today I celebrate yet another transition, a slight turning perhaps, but a bit of a milestone- as I have, after six years of committed participation, stepped down now from all administrative and committee leadership in my congregation.  All this comes more easily than expected, as elections are right around the corner.  It comes easily, as I let go of the old and rejoice in the new.  And all that I felt that I could not let go of for so long comes easily as I begin to transition very slowly in new relationship.  In fact, it is by stepping down from my role as a congregational leader, that I can feel myself moving more fully into my calling to ministry- as a contemplative writer, worship leader, and spiritual companion. Now as I clear the space, I can offer gifts of myself more fully and from the heart. 

One step at a time, keep living from the heart.  That is what I am hearing... So many ideas pop into my mind of "projects"...but really it is only what is right before me:  Prayers tonight for a world ripped apart, the people of Israel and Palestine; and for dear friends who struggle with depression and fears of losing it all;  and joy for the whistle of a train; for these words on a page.