The experience of being pulled by an irresistible current has become very strong. There is both joy- incredible joy- and fear existent in that pull. It appears that the fear is of losing control-and yet, what joy to lose myself in this great see of Being! Oh, says the drop- what is this great sea we are falling into?
Anxiety and tears at work have become overwhelming, and threatened to pull me under again today- and this came after a very grounding and encouraging morning session with my spiritual director.
I am grateful for soul companions on this journey, and feel that I have set up my weeks just right to make certain I have at least one meeting per week with someone who is a spiritual support to me. I'm lucky to have three people who have a special role in walking with me on this path. My guides are telling me that this work of being in these difficult places is growing the soul, growing my own capacity for compassion and healing. They are my anchors in this storm- and they are also my midwives! Midwives seems an appropriate term- not only because they keep telling me to 'breathe'- but also because this certainly does feel akin to labor. Only this time the baby, the new life, is me- in the wholeness and fullness of all I am in the Presence.
As I was leaving the Hope Center, my spiritual director offered me use of the space if I ever needed it to offer my own work. This seemed a synchronistic next step because it was a 'where' question I had been meaning to ask...and only last week my minister had made that same suggestion (that I might consider the Hope Center for a place to offer my services). Of course I had thought of this many times, but I was waiting for the right moment to ask. It was a gift to be given the suggestion from one source, followed just a few days later by the invitation. And now it seems when I put out the intention, the door will open just a little bit more as gift. It seems the more I open the door, the more appears. And the more that appears, the wider the door needs to open. It is the opening that is difficult (think: contractions!)- And yet what appears on the other side is not only these faces with their stories, but more clearly the face of Presence.
I also think that while soul is at the center of this deep work, it is evolving in a new form. So spiritual direction is not about finding the light on a mountaintop, but about seeing the face of God in the heart of the city and in places of suffering and darkness. The philosophy and action of Martin Luther King seems essential here- to work for healing caused by the great evils of militarism, racism, and poverty. (And in this I would also include other forms of discrimination and oppression based on gender, sexual orientation, religion, etc.) There is a movement here that moves us from individuals to a collective whole. Wholeness- not only of our individual selves, but of the entire world- is the one true goal of this work.
After much deep thought, I know this is the place of love and joy I am being pulled into- to be a part of this movement of Spirit, a Spirit which is calling all of us to birth this new world into life.
As Arundhati Roy writes-- Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing.
Be still my heart. Breathe. We are birthing into light.
Anxiety and tears at work have become overwhelming, and threatened to pull me under again today- and this came after a very grounding and encouraging morning session with my spiritual director.
I am grateful for soul companions on this journey, and feel that I have set up my weeks just right to make certain I have at least one meeting per week with someone who is a spiritual support to me. I'm lucky to have three people who have a special role in walking with me on this path. My guides are telling me that this work of being in these difficult places is growing the soul, growing my own capacity for compassion and healing. They are my anchors in this storm- and they are also my midwives! Midwives seems an appropriate term- not only because they keep telling me to 'breathe'- but also because this certainly does feel akin to labor. Only this time the baby, the new life, is me- in the wholeness and fullness of all I am in the Presence.
As I was leaving the Hope Center, my spiritual director offered me use of the space if I ever needed it to offer my own work. This seemed a synchronistic next step because it was a 'where' question I had been meaning to ask...and only last week my minister had made that same suggestion (that I might consider the Hope Center for a place to offer my services). Of course I had thought of this many times, but I was waiting for the right moment to ask. It was a gift to be given the suggestion from one source, followed just a few days later by the invitation. And now it seems when I put out the intention, the door will open just a little bit more as gift. It seems the more I open the door, the more appears. And the more that appears, the wider the door needs to open. It is the opening that is difficult (think: contractions!)- And yet what appears on the other side is not only these faces with their stories, but more clearly the face of Presence.
I also think that while soul is at the center of this deep work, it is evolving in a new form. So spiritual direction is not about finding the light on a mountaintop, but about seeing the face of God in the heart of the city and in places of suffering and darkness. The philosophy and action of Martin Luther King seems essential here- to work for healing caused by the great evils of militarism, racism, and poverty. (And in this I would also include other forms of discrimination and oppression based on gender, sexual orientation, religion, etc.) There is a movement here that moves us from individuals to a collective whole. Wholeness- not only of our individual selves, but of the entire world- is the one true goal of this work.
After much deep thought, I know this is the place of love and joy I am being pulled into- to be a part of this movement of Spirit, a Spirit which is calling all of us to birth this new world into life.
As Arundhati Roy writes-- Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing.
Be still my heart. Breathe. We are birthing into light.
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